There is no God, Only Galeem: Right Answers & Smash Bros
By Stevie G. (Cajun Lady)
My least favorite part about Ult is that it’s a two player game. I detest the fact that I cannot, with 100% accuracy and consistency, know my opponent’s wants, fears, and banking information at any given moment. While I maintain that the world would be a much better place if my opponent always had habits identical to those of a Level 1 CPU, allowing me to hit whatever fucked-up DA AC LJSC setup I want with Luma, that’s sadly not the world we live in. Your opponent being having a consciousness removed from your own means that your gameplay has to account for unknown variables. We’re not a shared ocean of soul-infused Tang circa End of Evangelion, and (probably) never will be.
One of the biggest mistakes I made early in my Ult career was believing in universal truths, with every situation having a “right” and “wrong” answer. When a player repeatedly chose a “wrong” answer, I was bewildered and, sometimes, offended.
This was especially apparent when I would play vs Cloud, an infamously bad matchup for Rosalina & Luma (my main at time of writing) given his strong burst options, juggle game, and ledge trapping. While many matchup-specific situations are burned into my nightmares, one in particular routinely rears its head regardless of the Cloud’s skill level: landing b-air into f-tilt. Always the same buffered timing, always the same sequence. Out of every option Cloud could follow up a landing B-air with. F-tilt has an argument for being the worst. It can never cross up, it’s exceedingly unsafe on shield, and it doesn’t have substantial killpower. Think about what else Cloud has in that situation: B-air -> cross slash; B-air -> grab; B-air -> Up-smash; B-air -> empty hop; B-air -> B-air. It’s the kind of sequence only notable for how underwhelming it is. So, assuming it stops working on the opponent, WHY?
For truth to be universal, it has to be undeniable. There should be no reason to pursue an alternate course of action, regardless of individual reasoning or opinion. For example, the statement “the sky is blue” is universal due to how easily observable it is. To deny something so readily apparent is to be contrarian for contrarian’s sake. However, Smash doesn’t perpetuate truth or reward truthseekers. In its design, Ult breaks norms set by both its predecessors and even itself. We’ve had Distance Demons outshone by Distancier Demons and characters who can create platforms in a platform fighter. Additionally, the nature of competition takes away the incentive for consensus, the “universal” in universal truth. The sky is “blue” because, as human culture evolved, we developed communicative systems to describe the world around us. Truth seeking, and the trial and error that comes with it, is a communal act. To compete against another is to reject consensus. While Person A is looking up at the sky to confirm its color, Person B sees an opening, kicks them in the balls, and goes for the pin. Who cares what color the sky is, the other guy let his guard down. As the saying goes, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” C’est la vie.
You cannot judge the illogical using logic. Sometimes, Cloud will B-air -> F-tilt because it’s easy to hit the C-stick forward twice. Sometimes, Cloud will B-air -> F-tilt for the no-mixup-mixup. And sometimes, Cloud will B-air -> F-tilt because it’s funny. Don’t try to comprehend the incomprehensible. There are already so many variables to keep track of in any given interaction, so why focus on those outside logic?
